Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Ideal Birth

When you say, "UC is the ideal birth"... women often get the impression that you are somehow saying that any other kind of birth is "less than" in some way. Which of course belittles or negates their experience -- which of course is not what is intended!

I do think its ideal - the best possible birth... I think this in the same way that I believe exclusive, on-demand breastfeeding with child-led weaning is the best nutrition and nurturing for babies. I don't say that with any judgment for women who did not or can not - for whatever reason - breastfeed. In the same way, I don't judge or think ill of any woman who doesn't have a UC. Each woman makes her own choices, based on her information, the support available to her, and a million other emotional, psychological, social, physical, and even spiritual factors.

To say that something is "ideal" is not to condemn or belittle other choices. I think almost anyone would agree upon some research and thought that EC (elimination communication) is the *ideal* way to handle baby's pees and poos... does that mean its possible or the best choice for every woman, that it's the right choice no matter the circumstances, and that those who are ECers should look down on those who dont practice it? Not at all! Because we don't live in a society that raises us to understand or appreciate EC, to support or educate us in it, and our own circumstances and emotions come into play heavily. But even simply learning about EC is useful, even if it doesn't "work out" for you or isn't something that you feel is right in your life. It gives a different perspective on something that is such a part of baby care, and that can only enhance our mothering and understanding.

The same is true with UC. It is ideal. But that doesn't mean that the circumstances around us are ideal to accommodate UC, or that we are emotionally/psychologically able to commit to it. I fully believe that 99% of women in our society CAN birth without professional assistance thats not the same thing as saying that they SHOULD. I do think all women should learn about unassisted childbirth, for the benefits the different perspective can bring to their births - whether that is a homebirth with midwife, or a hospital birth with OB. Getting into some of the typical ideas that come up with the topic of unassisted birth - faith in the Divine/nature/ourselves, letting go, trusting our bodies to birth, getting in touch with our instincts, learning all we can about our miraculous bodies in pregnancy and birth, becoming a questioner and a seeker of true information... these are all wonderful things that are beneficial to ALL birthing women.


veganf said...

I've enjoyed reading your posts!
We have always had very handsoff midwife attended homebirths and I love reading about UCs.

Just a heads up though that with the random Google ads at the bottom of the page, anything related to your topics can pop up; the one showing up currently for me is about how homebirth is not as safe as hospital birth. Ack!

Collinskymama said...

Thanks for the nice comment! Hubby also noticed that ad... I will see what I can do. Don't want that!

Anonymous said...

Hi Collen, Certainly resonate with this and your other blogs but you have used my image gaia_birth.jpg which is in Google images but originated in my webpage I created over ten years ago at> and would ask that you provide a link back to that original page either with a mouseover or a linked text or optionally delete it from your post. Nice if you could notify me when you make the change at Thanx Ed Fisher